Cold Milk

I've been keeping a deck of cards by my desk the last few days. A deck of red cards and a deck of blue cards. They make quite the stack. I sometimes go through them, flipping each card over, one at a time. It's comforting knowing that the next card will be different, that I have no control. There's two cards missing from the red deck, a fact I frequently forget. Every once in a while I'll notice it and sit for a second, just trying to remember where I lost it. I never can, and frankly, it's quite frustrating. But that's what it's all about I guess, you can never remember where you lost it, just the fact that it's gone. I don't mind it, but the deck's never complete. Same with the blue deck, although it's missing different cards. People have told me it's pointless to play with an incomplete deck, much less two incomplete decks. I think that's a silly thing to say. I shuffle the two decks together ever now and then, blue and red. Once they're shuffled together, I can never tell which cards are missing, the red takes up the blue's loss and the blue takes up the red's. However, I never keep the decks together for very long, taking time to separate them fully into two piles. Sometimes I even order the decks, but it's all too organized. Even so, shuffling them is my favorite part. Separate piles fall onto each other, random order builds a deck. But the best is the shuffling of the two decks. It feels complete, two things coming together. All together now, oil and water. A complete deck?

Too bad I can never finish Solitaire.